– Day Twenty-Two –
What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
Honestly, when it comes to keeping a relationship healthy, I am not sure that a BDSM relationship does differ from a vanilla one. I find that any and every relationship, whether it be romantic, platonic, or even just an acquaintanceship will suffer if people do not communicate openly with each other. Passive-aggressive behaviour and having the person you are in a relationship with guess at what you are feeling usually leads to disaster. Eventually, you will get to a point in your relationship that you will know each others’ thoughts, but still never assume that that is the case. Communication, respect, honesty are key to any relationship. As I’ve mentioned in a previous Thirty Days of Kink post, they are also key elements to a healthy kinky relationship, as they also imply safety and consent.
– Day Twenty-Three –
Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
Absolutely. While I still occasionally like to switch and be submissive, I have found myself more and more on the Dominant side of things. I enjoy being a FemDom. I enjoy the power and the mischief I can get up to. And I enjoy taming my total brat of a husband. I think that this Dominant side of me was always there, but allowing it to truly blossom has changed my outlook on kink and on my own place in life in general. Thanks to Miss Pearl‘s good advice, I have also benefited from a completely different perspective of kink than the one I first came in with.
I believe I have mentioned this before, but I initially got in with the BDSM Fashion crowd. Not bad people, but like in every model event, it is full of pettiness and backstabbing. Honestly, I thought all kink was either totally extreme or totally bitchy for the longest time because of this. So I stepped out of the scene.
My relationship with my husband and my meeting Miss Pearl has allowed me to grow into kink in a more wholesome way. I have now made kink my own in a way I never had before. I realized that if latex doesn’t make me feel sexy, I don’t have to wear it to be a Dom. It’s little details like that that make me very happy my perspective has changed, as I now enjoy my sex-life a lot more. Continue reading