Back Into The Fray…

… And about time too!

Hi my naughties!

I am so very sorry for my prolonged absence. I don’t want to turn this into a self-righteous rant, but Life has most definitely happened and in the worst of ways. I’ve had everything from a full blown return of my depression to a death of a close family member, on top of financial difficulties. In short, my life has been a fiasco for a couple of months, and that has not only led to little writing, but also to very little sex (depression = no libido).

However!! I am jumping back in, and full steam ahead!

There are a few kinky things I’ve been up to of late, which will be the subject of upcoming posts (because they deserve their own posts – but I promise, they will actually be up soon). Here are the topics you can expect to see covered in the upcoming weeks:

1. Le Salon de L’amour et de la Séduction a.k.a. The All About Sex Show

Taking place at the end of January, or beginning of February (depending on the year), Montreal plays host to the All About Sex Show, which has a long-ass French name to satisfy our loving, and not at all tyrannic, O.L.F. (French Language Office).

A side note for those of you who do not hail from Montreal… Continue reading

Pink Water – Personal Lubricant Review

Review time! ^_^

Warning! Those who have issues with TL;DR, you may wish to skip ahead to the last header, though you will be missing out on some snarky remarks from me *wink*

About Lubricants (personal or otherwise)

We all have needed to use some at least once in our lives.

While we all have a great laugh at names like “Mr. Lube” and conversations that use the word “lubricate” (okay, it may be just me – screw you, I am too a mature individual!), but the truth is that it is a very necessary product. Whether you are using it to prevent a door from staying stuck, ensure the smooth running of your car, or using WD-40 to detangle a cosplay wig, the lubricant is what makes everything go smoothly (no pun int-… who am I kidding, that pun was totally intended!).

And vaginas are another contraption that requires some greasing.

Whether it was due to stress and nervousness, dehydration, medications, lack of arousal, hormones, time in the cycle; whatever the reason, the quote from Kill Bill

[…] this chick’s cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand

is sometimes more on point than an individual in possession of Lady Bits would desire.

Yes, yes. I know. It is a sad reality we endowed with female genitalia have to deal with. We could cry you a river, but then we would be even more dehydrated, and that’s bad news for whatever you want to have going on down there. Most times, most vaginas are lucky and self-lubricate. But it is not always enough, or sometimes can be completely lacking.

So we have to result to some external help. I speak, of course, of personal lubricants (please, children, do not use WD-40 internally or on mucus membranes) – though a good foreplay in capable hands will also aid things significantly.

With Vaginas, it’s all because of friction.

I remember seeing a T-Shirt sold in one of those tacky souvenir and novelty shops that spread like a bad case of the clap around the tourist traps in my city. I can’t recall the exact wording on the garment, but it showed a brief 3 panel comic with stick figures.

1st image: two stick figures fucking.

2nd image: their genitals catch fire.

3rd image: nothing is left but a pile of ash.

And that, my friends, is essentially what happens without personal lubricants if you’re unlucky. There are also many factors that can worsen said chafing, but that’s not what I wish to discuss here.

All this to say that I wish to review my favourite lube – especially when it comes to anything vaginal (sex, masturbation, toys).

PINK Water – designed with Women in mind

product_all_water

Please don’t be mislead by the caption. It is also fantastic for men! However, there are a few things that make the PINK Lubricant products the vagina’s special friend.

PINK is the line of female oriented lubes designed by the same company that does Gun Oil lube. While I have never used Gun Oil before, the reviews for it are stellar (except for the few idiots that mistook it as an actual firearm lubricant and wondered why it gummed up their weapons – god, I wish they were trolling!). So when I was looking for a personal lubricant for myself, I certainly short listed it as a potential choice.

My personal problem with most lubes is that my skin is too fucking sensitive.

I am not trying to be coy or cute about it – no Princess and the Pea tale here, folks! – my skin is bloody awful. Wonderfully pale, I bruise if you only look at me wrong. And I do mean bruise: the big, blackish-purple swells with the greenish tinge along the edges, grace my body every other inch. I seem to be a weird cross between a topographical map and a dalmatian.

On top of that, if I so much as think about going out in the sun without SPF 60 sunscreen, I break out in hives. You read that right. Miss Pippa doesn’t burn – in fact, she is one of the few lucky natural blondes of Northern Europe who can properly tan. As a compromise, though, she gets an allergic reaction to the fucking sunlight – because karma, I suppose. So if I am not careful (especially in the summer), I will spend all my days indoors, tearfully rubbing cortisone antihistamine creams onto my skin.

But, wait! There’s more! Call now and you can hear all about how Miss Pippa will bruise from the wind. This is not an exaggeration. Especially in the Winter, when the winds are icy cold and have a mean streak to them, I will end up with what looks like clawmarks all over my exposed skin (this is especially true of my neck and has been cause for concern for many acquaintances of mine). Bright red lines biting deep into the pale flesh. For most people, those marks go away in a matter of minutes. Mine last at least half a day.

All that to say that my skin needs – uh – extra special care when it comes to products that will be used on it. For instance, I can just forget about latex condoms: they give me a rash that will last for weeks.

In comes Pink Water to save the day!

(I also need to work on being more concise… jeez, that intro was long *sweatdrop*)

Continue reading

TL;DR – Fine, Have A Picture

Hello naughty bunnies!

Apparently, my last kinky post was not all too popular with you guys. I think only one person may have read it through to the end and since then my posts have gotten total radio silence. I won’t lie: my ego is a tad bruised. I should give you a beating to make up for it! Luckily, I am in a generous and forgiving mood (you had better thank me later, though!)

I am assuming (and kind of hoping) that my last post detailing my session with subby-hubby was only so unpopular because it was so long. I hope I am right.

In any case, no long rambles from me this time.

Just a picture. 

5b_privacy
Photographer: Guy Raymond from NU2 Concept Studio                                                                                                           Miss Pippa Minty and her favourite sub!

Yes, that is me. 

No, there is no photoshop. Pure, unadulterated moi, on top of subby-hubby in an odd pose (still, at least I am on top).

Subby-hubby had won a draw at Montreal Comiccon for a free photoshoot with NU2 Concept Studio, which is where this picture is from.

I expect this to satisfy your naughtiness until I have nursed my pride back to health so I may post again.

My (Rambling) Thoughts On Malesub and Masculinity

Good day to all you Kinksters out there!

Sorry for not posting in a while (without announcing a known hiatus), but work, August heat/mugginess, and depression have taken their toll on me in the last few weeks. I have been thinking of my kinky bunnies nonstop, but I’ve had difficulties in getting my words out on paper (well, on the web, technically).

In the meantime, I’ve been having a great deal of training at work (yay for more qualifications) and it has been rather exhausting, as flight cancellations made for a lot of overtime. I want to say that it was good for my wallet, but a cop who stopped me for speeding decided to give me the highest fine possible (1,300.00$ plus 14 demerit points out of 15) despite it being my very first offense (and I was driving at an average highway speed on a highway). So my wallet has been bled dry despite all the overtime work. Needless to say, this has caused me to have a considerable panic attack and many sleepless nights. But, beyond having a lawyer look at the ticket, there is nothing I can do in the immediate moment. I’m trying to shut the door on this massive problem and move on.

Now that you know what’s been eating away at my poor tortured insides, lets get to the reason you guys are actually reading this: the kinky bits. I really want to tackle the subject of malesub and masculinity today, as my subby-hubby is the main inspiration for this post.

Malesub is incredibly attractive, so why is there such stigma against it?

Would that I had the answer to that, my dears! There is but one thing that I know is one hundred per cent true, and that’s that very many women love a man who can be vulnerable. Not all women will admit it, even less are willing to describe themselves as Femdoms/Dommes/etc. because of the associated implications (pro-Dommes usually come to mind, and it is not every woman who enjoys donning 8 inch heels and latex). The result is that many men see vulnerability and the desire for submission as an inherent flaw that will make them lose respect rather than gain it.

To be perfectly frank with you, I think our patriarchal society is to blame for that. The traditional male gender role has been established as domineering and stoic, unemotional and intriguing, with all the machismo someone can throw behind it. Just look at men’s cologne advertisements, or worse, the ones for men’s jeans. The men in it are very beautiful specimens (*drool*), and they mostly fit a very precise and crafted view of masculinity (I’m talking about the ripped, but lean Adonis-types that exist mostly thanks to the wonders of airbrushes and photoshop… mostly). But, beyond their basic appearance, they are always; a) doing a “manly” sport, such as sailing, riding a motorcycle, pumping iron, or swimming in a tumultuous ocean; b) driving in a sports car; c) taming some wild beast (or a horse, for some reason); or, finally, d) having a woman at their feet begging for their attention.

If you are a fan of my blog, so far, you will probably understand, without explanation, why there are inherently problematic. If you are new to my blog, welcome! I am a very opinionated young Femdom with sometimes-switch tendencies. I am very much a Feminist and a firm believer in equal rights (except for the bedroom *wink*). Some may even call me a social warrior, but I am going to disagree as I don’t take issue with quite as many things as they have a tendency to do. All clear? Good.  Continue reading

Thirty Days of Kink – Day 17 & Day 18 –

Note: I am sorry for the delay in posting, my naughty bunnies. Unfortunately, real-life-itis has struck me hard this week. I am moving to a new apartment and hardly have any downtime. This is me trying to catch up. I am still alive!

Thirty Days of Kink

– Day 17 –

What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

Thirty Days of Kink – Day 16

– Day Sixteen –

What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

Probably to get people to understand it. Not that I feel the need to explain or justify my kinks. It’s about the one thing I feel comfortable with. However, some of my friends tend to fear that my interest in BDSM stems from my Anxiety and other deeep-seated issues.

They aren’t completely off the mark. It is true that I use kink to help me calm some of my anxieties. The control I exercise over my husband during our sessions makes me feel exceedingly confident and empowered, something I sadly lack in my day-to-day life. When I play the switch and sub for someone, the endorphin high tends to change my headspace entirely to one that is actually tolerable, instead of the deep hellhole it usually is (sorry, this is becoming depressing…).

Nevertheless, it is not because of my Anxiety that I turned to kink. It is not a coping mechanism for me. It is simply a bonus, a side-effect of my sexual appetites that I get some relief from the constant torture my brain likes to inflict upon me.

So I’m tired of explaining. I’m sick of reassuring. I know my friends mean well. But I am having difficulty with Vanilla people asking me if I shouldn’t be seeing a shrink about my kinky habits. I already DO see a psychologist and a psychiatrist, thank you very much. And no, I don’t really speak to them extensively about my sexuality because I fear the same reaction as that of my friends. The constant knee-jerk reaction of:  “omg, you like BDSM, you must be severely damaged!”

Yes. I am damaged. Yes, I have a lot of baggage. But it does not influence me in my kinks. I’ve been kinky as far as I can remember. I’ve got a mind that chooses to reside in the gutter permanently. Always have. The damage done to my psyche neither reinforced, nor changed this about me. And dealing with people who do not understand that is very difficult.

Thirty Days of Kink – Day 11 –

I’m back, my naugthy bunnies! Sorry about that hiatus, but life really interfered with my writing. I am moving to a new apartment in the next few weeks and it is eating up all my time. In any case, here is another Thirty Days of Kink!

Thirty Days of Kink

– Day Eleven –

What are your views on the ethics of kink?

Okay, I was going to open my reply with a discussion about the semantics of the word “ethic,” but that would be far too elitist and bitchy of me to be tolerable. So I will just refrain the English Lit major in me and move on to an actual response…

There is so much to say about kink and ethics and about the behaviours that are acceptable in the kink community and the ones that are not. Elaborating on all of them would turn into the worst TL;DR scenario since the original unabridged manuscript draft of Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment.

So, for the sake of brevity, I will try listing what I feel are the most important things to consider when engaging in a BDSM activity.

Consent

While this may seem like the obvious answer, this is absolutely key. When engaging in kink, all participants should have given explicit informed consent. They may also revoke said consent at any time during the “session” by using their safeword. Things can quickly escalate into assault, flat out abuse and even rape if one isn’t careful.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all about RACK (risk aware consensual kink) and Con Non-Con (consensual non-consent). However, those terms imply that there was discussion and informed consent given before engaging in any kinky sport. And, again, both parties are entitled to bring things to a stop if they have reached their hard limit or if it is no longer fun for them.

This brings me to my next point: Continue reading

Critical Collar Crisis and Colossally Conceited Cretins

Source: Photobucket user leocusp9
Source: Photobucket user leocusp9 …    This is a nice photo to make up for the not-so-nice content of the post.

A few days ago, I posted this on Fetlife in a group called “Dominant Women and subs/slaves who love them.”

The collar – ultimate sign of the submissive. From what I have understood of the BDSM community, giving a collar to your sub has a great deal of significance, and for some, the symbol of the collar is akin to the wedding band.

Which is why I am left in a bit of a crisis. I hope that better and more experienced Femdoms and Doms alike can potentially help me with this issue. You see, my House-hubsand has a collar – that he got from his ex-girlfriend.

Do not get me wrong: it is a gorgeous collar. I believe it is a Northbound Leather piece, sturdy  and with a gorgeous buckle. I have used it on him only last weekend so I could lead him around by the neck (which is more fun to do than I care to admit).

The problem here is that, when I tie the collar around his neck, I do not feel the empowerment that should normally come from such a gesture. I hesitate and I feel the oppressive presence of the evil manipulative ex in the room with us. I keep thinking that she bought it for him hoping to chain him to herself and not to me. But, at the moment, it is the only collar I have and, as I’ve said before, it is quite the beautiful collar.

Also, because I realize how this sounds so far, the collar was bought while my House-husband was still in a relationship with the Evil Bulldog. So it’s not like she gave him the collar after he was in a relationship with me. But that does not change the fact that I feel this collar overshadows my dominance in a way.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a way to make an old collar yours?

I got some varied opinions on the matter and a few genuinely helpful replies… Four replies in total to be exact.

The next thing I know, my post was deleted.

I was frankly surprised by this turn of events. Was the group not for Dominant Women and their questions/discussions? Had I done something wrong in posting this question that had been plaguing me for a while? Did the group moderators know Evil Bulldog and delete the post because they somehow felt I had slighted her?

No.

It turns out, the group moderators did much more than just delete my post. They flat out BANNED me from the Dominant Women group!!

Let that sink in for a minute.

Because, honestly, what the ever loving fuck?! I may be a newbie Dom (or, rather, reconnecting with my inner Dom) and be prone to mistakes, but that does not make me any less a Dom in a F/m relationship.

Still reeling from the shock, I contacted the moderators. Their reply angered me to no end. You see, apparently, because I enjoy switching things up sometimes (because I find some fun in being a sometimes submissive and because I feel I can gain insight into the submissive perspective by doing so), I am not allowed to be a part of the Dominant Women group. That’s right: Switches, sometimes or otherwise, are not allowed! This is not at all in the essence of the Kink community I have come to know and I am, frankly, quite offended. Do I no longer technically count as a Dominant Woman in my F/m relationships? When I choose to sub to someone, am I not a “sub/slave who love[s Dominant Women]?” As per their group title, I doubly qualify for fuck’s sake!

I am shocked that the mythical “The Old Guard” of purist, elitist Dommes seems to be a reality in a community that I have come to respect and adore for its openness and acceptance. The fact that I my reply to the moderators, mentioning that I related more to the Dom perspective and that I liked to sub only occasionally, in part to help gain insight into the submissive mind-frame, went unanswered.

Dominant Women that I respect quit the group in solidarity with Switches. Because, honestly; how can a group be so freaking conceited? Who are they to judge what we identify as? What is the harm in Switching as a Dom anyway??

I am simply disappointed that these cretins will know no consequences for their actions in a community that usually does a great job at policing itself and eliminating this sort of discrimination and judgement. I am also saddened to find out that this sort of behaviour is present in the Kink community. I am so over the every day discriminatory antics of the world and I had thought that I had found a place where they were as near as possible to non-existent.

I will not stop being a sometimes switch. It is my choice and my fun. Regardless, I still identify as a Dominant Woman. So fuck you, moderators! Fuck you.

We Interrupt Your Dose Of Naughtiness For Some Disgusting Bigoted Reality

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Femdom. But I need to rant and this is my blog, god damn it! So rant I shall. Skip to the next story if this isn’t to your taste. This story may contain triggers…

So, a Facebook friend acquaintance posted the most disgusting article on his wall last night, under the caption of “I’ll just leave this here.” Here is a link to said article. If you’re wise, you will not read it. If my husband hadn’t been asleep while I read it, I might have beaten the poor man black and blue just to get rid of some frustration…

The article is misogynistic and Islamophobic beyond all belief. Now if this person on Facebook had written to denounce the article is one thing… but they were in complete agreement with it and started denigrating EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. that wasn’t taking his side of the debate. And the worst part is, this person is an artist I used to admire and have a lot of respect for…

And now for some choice quotes of the debate! (Seriously, I am unfriending this idiot!)

About women being capable drivers: connor is an ass

So, because the daily mail says I can’t drive, it must be true? Don’t point out to him that the statistics of this specific “study” might be biased, though! As soon as I said that many statistics can be made to fit any theory if applied a certain way, he discredited absolutely EVERYTHING I said because I “didn’t believe in statistics, so how could [I] know?” But the thing is, I don’t disbelieve the statistics. I just believe they apply in a certain context and cannot always be applied as pure facts.

The conversation gets particularly bad when he starts saying that all Muslims necessarily follow a dangerous doctrine and that all Muslims without exception hate gay rights and women. Again, he says this is based on statistics (and, again, I say the context of those statistics matters!).

connor ass

I’m putting in images, because actually quoting him just makes me too angry. Obviously, he’s the one who is censored in red… and he was far from done. (I am cutting out bits where he’s just hurling insults or stating that his opinion is better for brevity’s sake.)

connorass

And last but not least, he concludes with this gem before proverbially “peacing out:”

connor

I am so DONE. I am neither a Muslim, nor gay and yet I find the bigotry in the fact that this article even exists appalling. And the fact that I know someone defending this at all makes me feel gross.

Needless to say, I am unfriending this person. I also want to hide until people like this get an actual education and do their research elsewhere than the Daily Mail…

*Rant Over*

I promise naughtiness in my next post!