In Which I Could Not Attend a Party

Last Saturday, I was invited to one of Miss Pearl‘s glamourous and sexy parties. I had every intention of attending it, but the universe thought otherwise and completely nixed my plans.

My body just hates me.

I have been ill with lightheadedness and dizzy spells for nigh on a week now, and there has been no improvement. I do not know if it is due to tiredness, or something else – but as I am also losing my voice at the moment, I certainly think I am cooking up something. In any case, I feel betrayed by my body that has decided that sending my brain on a vertigo-inducing merry-go-round is a good idea. [Fun fact: after getting diagnosed on Monday, it turns out I have Labyrintitis.]

My husband, on the other hand, is full of life, fit and able. He was also invited to the party. And there was no way I was going to let my body’s issues poop on his parade too. I encouraged him to go without me.

And then the envy kicked in.

Now, I have mentioned previously that subby-hubby and myself have been working on a semi-poly/open relationship type of arrangement (I realize that sounds convoluted, but I honestly don’t know what else to call it). By that, I meant that we play with different people, but always with permission and open communication between the two of us in case the situation changes. We also believe that, as long as we want to come home to each other, we are still in a healthy relationship.

In that case, why was the green-eyed monster writhing in my gut? Well, I suppose it had more to do with the fact that I was left out. I usually am at least an attendee at Miss Pearl’s parties, so hearing everything second hand just doesn’t compare. It’s like eating a frozen microwaveable-meal: full of expectation, but ultimately drab and disappointing.

But it is not the party that is the let down – oh no! It is my stupid fucking health. I wish I had the stamina to go through a normal work week without feeling as though I had been put through the wringer. Seriously – I couldn’t feel more dead if I’d been hung on the gallows this weekend.

So I sat on the couch at home, drifting in and out of consciousness, binge watching crime-dramas on Netflix (I ran out of the other stuff). My husband called, at my request, to relay some of the goings-on at the party, but that didn’t help me feel much better. He was clearly having a blast and I was missing out.

I sat at home, horny and eager to punish some naughty folks, but only wishfully thinking it. The worst thing is that Miss Pearl only lives four blocks or so from us. I could have sauntered over there in a heartbeat if my health had allowed me to. But I didn’t want to be the kind of party guest that sits sullenly in a corner and complains about feeling unwell.

Around 1:30 A.M. subby-hubby came home.

I sat him down and paused whatever Netflix was flashing at my retinas. I sat up like a lovesick puppy who just got his owner’s attention – not very Femdom-y, I know; but I am cutesy like that. I was happy he was home and I was no longer alone with my aches and fictional crime.

After we exchanged a kiss, I asked him how the party was. His response was typical: “Good.” Well, no shit Sherlock! He didn’t even want to leave the party until I texted him that I wanted to see him before I left for work at 2:00 A.M.

Mais encore?” I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“I got the spankies I wanted.”

“Okaaaaay…” I know I said that we communicate a lot and that this keeps our relationship amazing, but his communication with me takes a little encouragement. This was going to be a hard nut to crack.

I asked him to tell me more. He didn’t know what to say. “Who spanked you? Who else was there? Did the hosts do any fun scenes?”

“Yeah, they did. Mr. Wildcard played with Cheeky Pants in the kitchen. They did some wax play. Cheeky Pants giggled the whole time.” Okay, we were starting to get somewhere.

“And Miss Pearl? Was she the one that spanked you?”

“No. She volunteered to rope bunny for Pirate King who needed some practice with his knots.”

“And who spanked you?”

I can unfortunately not give a nickname to the spanker of my spankee husband, as I’ve not met the person and can therefore not label them with an appropriate moniker yet. But I intend to meet them before long.

The point of me writing down our conversation is that I had to literally pry the information on the party out of him. I wish I could tell you more about Miss Pearl’s party, dear readers, but as I was not there (and as my husband wasn’t exactly volunteering the information) I can hardly describe the setting, or the people. All I know is that it was starlight themed and that my husband returned covered in glitter – so clearly, there were fairy herpes floating in the air around Miss Pearl’s party.

His private after-party

Continue reading

Reader Question – Difficulties Integrating Kink in a Relationship and Depression

Warning: This post may very well be quite gloomy.

Disclaimer: The reader who wrote to me gave me permission to publish and answer the question on this blog.

Dear Miss Pippa Minty,

Firstly I am a fan of your blog and found you through Miss Pearl’s blog. I like the way you write and the stories that you tell. I thought I would write to you and ask for your advice.

I am feeling my most despondent with kink and with being a submissive at the moment. I think not finding anyone to play with or have a relationship with is quite frustrating. I have also found it difficult to do casual and found that it is not for me, I tend to get attached and subsequently hurt.

A combination of frustration and living with anxiety and depression + living at home doesn’t make things easy. Do you have any hints and tips on how I can manage this frustration / channel these feelings in a constructive way?

Kind regards

M—

Dear M—,

Continue reading

Tuesday Teasing for Mr. Wildcard

Ah, Punish Tuesday!

It is a lovely day that was set up by none other than the delightful Miss Pearl, Dominant Lady Extraordinaire (in this town she’s Kink Royalty). It is a day she has set up with her Gentleman Nemesis to satisfy her kinky urges, and because scheduling in regular kink sessions seems to help with anxiety and whatnot. It is an inspired idea, and one that I have admittedly taken up with my subby-hubby as well.

Source: http://au-oui.tumblr.com/post/144540708220

“Wanna Come Over for Tuesday?”

Subby-hubby was tired on Tuesday. I was left with no one to punish. Dejected, I took a nap after work.

When I woke up, there was a message in my inbox. It was from Mr. Wildcard, and, as he is in all his interactions, very direct and to the point. “Wanna come over for Tuesday?” I could hardly believe what I was reading. Was I, switch and newbie Dom, really being invited by the Royal Couple to join them in a scene? Remember, this wasn’t in a play party context. I was delighted at the invitation, but also trepidatious. I had never played one-on-one like that before.

But subby-hubby was late coming home from work anyway and he kept complaining about tiredness, so I happily obliged. I asked when I should join them. The response was as succinct as ever: “8:30.”

I hastily dressed, but had a dilemma: should I dress for subbing, or Domination? Nothing had been determined in the messages. I chose to wear some nice lingerie (the only one not yet packed up for my upcoming move) and over that I wore a blue shirt and mini circle skirt. Versatile.

Eight thirty crept up on me quickly and I left. Continue reading

Brief Hiatus – A Sexy Party By Miss Pearl

Hiatus:

Dear readers,

I promise my absence these last few days was entirely a question of circumstances (life can be a bitch sometimes). More experimenting, personal stories and smut will be coming your way soon. But, as I have had a few requests to put in a post, I’ve decided to share Miss Pearl’s latest adventure.

Miss Pearl hosted an amazing indoor Beach Party, full of kinky hotness. I got a great deal of attention that evening, as the following will indicate. I am posting this to satiate your collective lusts. Take a guess at which of her guests I might be!

Be sure to visit Miss Pearl’s site as well.

I will also post my own view of the events once I’ve finished writing it.

Cheers!

P.S. I know I’ve missed a few days of kink. I will make it up to you once I’ve gotten it into my head that double shifts aren’t healthy for me.

Inside the Indoor Beach Party

What did I do over the long weekend?

It’s blazing hot, with the temperature dancing around the high end of 20 C or even over 30 C and nasty humidity. The pools are full of screaming children and all my friends were mewling on their social media feeds that they were too hot to fuck. Never-mind,  a little AC and the right theme, and I was all set for a great play party.

I hold these parties once every couple of months, inviting an exclusive group of my trusted friends to romp and explore and be our kinky, sexy selves.  This isn’t your mother’s play party, with all the fetish protocol and no sex attitude that entails. You won’t find some person in a motrocycle cap doing Florentine flogging to show they are a Serious Master. Everything is fun, casual and rests on an absolutely no creeps policy.

Picture an elegant 1930s apartment, done up in paper lanterns and blue crepe bunting in undulating waves…

The guests are dressed in trunks, swim suits and loose, airy cotton dresses. Some go pinup vintage, some go chic and modern. There are soft bodies; hard bodies; hairless, smooth bodies; and sensually furred bodies. Men, women and people who dance in the middle, all are welcome. They know it’s a safe place to explore what they love. The atmosphere is perky and joyful, vintage beach tunes and silly movies (Lilo and Stitch) setting the tone before we take things in a much more adult direction. I don’t think there was a bit of black leather in sight, unless, of course, you count the mountain of toys I’d put out to share.

I told the guests an 8:00 PM start time, and on the dot, the first handful of people start trickling in. Early birds ask if they can help out, and I hand off a beach ball and balloons to blow. I have three rooms open- the kitchen with its vague Arabian nights feeling; the long, pillared living room decked out to hold the majority of folks, and my bedroom made more intimate by a black light. There’s snacks and drinks: a whole watermelon in wedges; brightly coloured popsicles; jubejube fish; chips and salsa; beachy drinks. Nothing to excess, everything just right to indulge and to remind you that we’re here to play.

But how do you go from friends to frolic?

Everyone arrives around the start time, first Peppermint Kitten and her man (they’re early birds, and like to help set up) and then guests in ones and twos. Every party starts like this, with people bunching up on the couch, a little shy where it’s just a handful. Everyone is at least passingly familiar with everyone else, but there’s a note of care in everyone’s posture. Nobody wants to be rejected, and nobody wants to overstep and make anyone else uncomfortable. We might be inveterate perverts, but how to make sure we honour enthusiastic consent? The guests are almost all here, but we’re all having social time.

My friend, Peppermint goes on a little walk about the apartment, looking at all the decorations. I’m admiring my own handiwork in the bedroom, looking at the glow sticks hanging from the fan and the bright stars on the wall.

I get the play party truly started when I grab and lift my friend onto the bed. Continue reading

ATTENTION NEW FEMDOMS: How To Give A Bare Handed Spanking

So, my good friend, Miss Pearl O’Leslie, just posted this brilliant article about spanking. As I was asked by some interested parties about barehanded spanking just the other day, I thought I might share it here for their benefit as well. Spanking can spice things up and make things wonderfully kinky without requiring all the expensive accessories and tools. It can make Femdom easy and fun! So what are you waiting for? Go do it!

(P.S. This is not for Femdoms only. Male Dominants can learn from this article too!)

One of the biggest barriers for new femdoms (and women who are giving this a try) is that the topping side of dominating people can seem hellaciously intimidating. What if you get it wrong, will the bottom be seriously hurt? Will he laugh at you and take away his submission? I blame existing dominants, who often base their authority on how well they hit and tie. In some cases, of course, kink skill takes time and practice. Bullwhips and needle play require more prep and know how, as well as specialized equipment. But spanking is something anyone can do and carry very little risk, particularly a bare handed spanking with an open palm.

spanking
Why spanking and how does it work?

A human butt is one of the more resilient, padded parts of the body. Cushioned and bouncy, it offers a wide surface area for striking while keeping all the important biological bits tucked deep out of the way. As well as a safe target, many people associate spanking with being in a demeaned, vulnerable of juvenile position. Although people in the 18 to 35 generation may never have personally experienced a beating in the hands of a parent, the idea of being bent over and smacked is deeply embedded in popular culture, as a minor form of violence expressing the authority of the spanker. Besides, we sexualize butts, and spanking is touching butts.

For kink purposes, there’s two kinds of spankings, a fun spanking that works with the “victim’s” natural tolerances and a mean spanking that seeks to exceed them (in a safe fashion of course!). In this case, don’t confuse tolerances for limits. Limits are how the bottom protects you from being arrested, while tolerance is how the spanking effects them in relation to how they experience pain. So how do you make sure everything’s hunky dory? Continue reading

Anyone got a spare $500k to buy a church? — Pleasing Miss Pearl

We would so rock the socks off the neighbourhood! And, if this happens, I’m reserving a spot for myself and the subby-hubby in the vicarage household.

It would be the best dungeon space in the country. A traditional building (stained glass, steeple) rennovated into a play space, with the usual basement made into space for non-profits, teaching and social events. There’s even an attached vicarage we could turn into a residence-cum-BDSM-household.

via Anyone got a spare $500k to buy a church? — Pleasing Miss Pearl

The Unbound Box Rocked My Socks — Pleasing Miss Pearl

Originally posted on O Miss Pearl…

I just had to share this, as it is another example of Miss Pearl’s brilliant writing. And also because I particularly like the article.

Miss Pearl just has a natural instinct for all things that please the feminine body. I don’t think I’ve ever read anyone else who was so on point when it comes to female masturbation. For example, I am someone who doesn’t get much out of fingering inside the vagina. Pressure, petting and what not on my labia, however – well, let’s call it a total turn on (which is an understatement). Same goes for a lot of vibrators. I’m not big on the penetrative stuff. As much as I like my Hitachi, I need to use it in small doses only, as it quickly numbs my clit and then I fail to get off at all. Too much frontal vibrations will do that to me… So Miss Pearl’s review of the Intro 2 Vibe… well, let’s just say I know what I’m saving up for next! *grins*

Every blogger likes loot. In disclosure before I talk about the Unbound Box, the origin of this was a freebie with no expectations other than reviewing it, but I can confidently say I loved what I got. I liked the presentation, I liked the contents and I found the company itself super pleasant to work with.

Unbound is a sex toy/adult product retailer going for a combination classy/tongue in cheek aesthetic. They’re as likely to remind you you deserve equal pay as all the orgasms you want. Unlike many loot crates, you have some advance warning what you’re going to get, but in my case I went into this completely blind.

I also did not expect to be happy with the results, just vaguely awkward. I get a lot of promotional spam demanding the moon and offering dubious rewards, often “become an affiliate and I swear you will profit!” style invites for products I would never buy or suggest others buy. And although I like the theory of loot crates, in practice I’ve never got a surprise bag where the contents seemed worth the hype, whether makeup samplers like Birch Box (which SHOULD be a box of floggers and canes, but isn’t) or the eponymous “Loot Crate” full of geeky tchotchkes. There’s always a few ok items I wouldn’t have bought anyway and a lot of clutter that feels wasteful. So was the Unbound Box one of those junk bags? I’m happy to say it is not.

Unbound sent me the May 2016 sampler, DELTA ∇, a late birthday gift for yours truly.

Honestly, when I got the package notification. I forgot it might be coming. I had no clues of what was inside, just a plain white box, with something loose but heavy gently sliding when I shook it. However, slicing open the cardboard was a shiny black box tied with a satin ribbon. Squee!

I love presents. I love nice presents even more.

Although they don’t have a set guide on how much you get every time, there were four items in this box. The Intro 2, a vibe with a two finger design; a high end clitoral sensitizer (aka warming lube) by Exsens; and some rhinestone pasties and a body chain, all neatly packed up, including a little cloth storage bag for the vibrator with a sassy quote from Mae West.

As far as the wins, I fell in love with the vibe they gave me (the Intro 2) and they actually hit onto sexy adornment I might actually wear- probably to the sexy Indoor Beach Party I’ve planned next Saturday. And to be fair I’m giving the sensitizer a boot on principle- I’m not a big fan of warming lubes, but I have plenty of friends who are and was able to pass it on. (Note to you Peppermint Kitten, my readers are enthusiastically waiting to see how you liked it!)

Yes, I am shamelessly making my friend rub strange creams on her genitals. But if she doesn’t like it she has a wonderful submissive husband to use it on. #evilcackle

But the Intro 2… omgomgomg.

Not so much a rabbit vibe, but as one particularly reviewer put it, shaped like a Totoro, Unbound aimed to have you use this on your clit and nipples as a part of the Delta’s theme. Out of the box it’s got all the hallmarks of the modern lady friendly toys- pleasant colour schemes, abstract rather than shall we say organic shapes, silicone skin. In other words, a vibe that I would sadly admire on the shelf and move on.

With this toy, the idea is that you can blitz concentrated spots with tingles, lightly pinching and pressing for surround sensation. But what isn’t advertised is that this is a perfect masturbator for a clitoral sides/labia person, which I am, and someone who likes a lot of pressure.

My personal self pleasure technique is what sinks most vibes. In a diverse land of jackhammer hitachis, flicking bunny ears and buzzing bullets, none of this accommodates that my usual self frigging is a sort of rapid V motion with my fingers that puts more arm into it than rowing a boat. Add a motor and my tiny clit either goes numb from over stimulation or gets missed entirely. Vibes always were the thing the cool girls got to play with, and strictly not for me. That is until a nice little surprise inspired me to give it another shot. I mean, it’s only polite to try a gift, right?

Yeah, if you’re on team highly sensitive clit, this little wonder will fit just right into the sides and work with your natural  shape, teasing the lips and hood to let the sensations build up, while the base will let you keep pressing. No more going numb from too many tingles or not enough sensation- I’ve met my vibrator match finally and that means this loot crate did it’s work, getting you to reach out and try things, as curated by someone who understands their market. Consider the Unbound Box a win.

LOOTZ-1

Unbound Box Value, Based on my Searching:

  • Intro 2 by JimmyJane – About $60
  • Fresh Ginger Litchi by Exsens – About $30
  • Mimi Rhinestone Pasties by bjoux indiscrets – About $10
  • Body Chain by Unbound – $10-ish, but it’s a unique item

Cumulative Price: $110 US
Actual Price: $65 US
Functional Value, based on what I actually wanted: $80 US
A Vibrator that Actually Gets Me Off? Priceless.

via The Unbound Box Rocked My Socks — Pleasing Miss Pearl