Thirty Days of Kink – Day 8 –

– Day Eight –

Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Just one? No fair!! I’ll compromise and post three (on top of a bonus favourite), because I am an unreasonable person.

Otherwise, easy, short-and-sweet post today. I hope you guys aren’t getting bored of me yet! *wink*

Source: http://amadiana2015.tumblr.com/post/144220039749
Source: http://amadiana2015.tumblr.com/post/144220039749

I love this one. What I find so very erotic here is the look in the Dom’s eyes. It clearly reads that he is Her property and that everyone else approaches at their own risk. It’s one of my Femdom goals.

Continue reading

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Thirty Days of Kink – Day 7 –

– Day Seven –

What’s your favorite toy?

Peh! This one’s easy!!! Not…

To be honest, I don’t know.

I want to say my Hitachi Magic Wand is my favourite toy, but that would be a total lie. Especially considering that, while it does feel great, all those super strong frontal vibrations make me go numb in minutes and then all sensitivity is gone for some time. I feel fuck-all after that. I feel a sort of aftershock of tingles in my lower abdomen, but as it’s nowhere near my fun bits, it sort of defeats the purpose. It doesn’t mean I’m willing to give up on my Hitachi, however!!

I also like my Kegel balls, but I see those as an exercise tool. I get no sexual pleasure from them. I just like to work out the muscles in my vagina… because Femdom sex. I feel I have so much more control if I can squeeze his cock and milk it by hardly moving my body at all… just a few muscle clenches do the trick. I love that.

I also love my riding crop. But that is to torture others, not to use on myself. What can I say, I like the red welts it creates on people’s flesh.

I guess, I’d have to vote subby-hubby as my favourite toy. He’s so versatile and teasing him gets me so wet. It’s a toy that knows how to get me off. Best boy-toy ever. Definitely a keeper – would recommend! *wink*

 

Thirty Days of Kink – Day 6 –

– Day Six –

Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

Well, my weirdest ones, in my view, are some of the more extreme consensual non-consent scenarios trotting through my mind at any given time. Because, I am really into CNC… at least, in my head.

My weirdest submissive fantasy is one where I essentially get raped. Well, there’s not even really an “essentially” about it. It’s just a rape. That I would get raped. In the fantasy, I want a rape that’s rough and violent – almost à la Game of Thrones. However, I want none of the emotional trauma that goes with it. I think this is what makes this fantasy so weird.

I want to be raped. But I don’t. Because rape implies lack of consent and emotional scars that I do not want to have to deal with… It’s fucking bizarre and I’m not really sure how to explain myself. I just think I would like a particularly violent scenario in any case. I think I am looking for some form of catharsis I might obtain through it…

On the Dominant side, I also have some fantasies, but they do not really have any rape involved. A lot of the crazier Dungeon stuff is on my mind. Think crosses and other fancy implements to tie people up with. I also want to be able to penetrate a guy… but not with a strap-on. I don’t get much from a strap-on. It’s almost like I’d like my own cock to do it with, to experience all that sensation at least once? It’s almost a Futanari style fantasy. I don’t know; it’s just weird.

But the question WAS about my weirdest fantasy (it also said “most interesting,” but clearly I chose to ignore that part).

ATTENTION NEW FEMDOMS: How To Give A Bare Handed Spanking

So, my good friend, Miss Pearl O’Leslie, just posted this brilliant article about spanking. As I was asked by some interested parties about barehanded spanking just the other day, I thought I might share it here for their benefit as well. Spanking can spice things up and make things wonderfully kinky without requiring all the expensive accessories and tools. It can make Femdom easy and fun! So what are you waiting for? Go do it!

(P.S. This is not for Femdoms only. Male Dominants can learn from this article too!)

One of the biggest barriers for new femdoms (and women who are giving this a try) is that the topping side of dominating people can seem hellaciously intimidating. What if you get it wrong, will the bottom be seriously hurt? Will he laugh at you and take away his submission? I blame existing dominants, who often base their authority on how well they hit and tie. In some cases, of course, kink skill takes time and practice. Bullwhips and needle play require more prep and know how, as well as specialized equipment. But spanking is something anyone can do and carry very little risk, particularly a bare handed spanking with an open palm.

spanking
Why spanking and how does it work?

A human butt is one of the more resilient, padded parts of the body. Cushioned and bouncy, it offers a wide surface area for striking while keeping all the important biological bits tucked deep out of the way. As well as a safe target, many people associate spanking with being in a demeaned, vulnerable of juvenile position. Although people in the 18 to 35 generation may never have personally experienced a beating in the hands of a parent, the idea of being bent over and smacked is deeply embedded in popular culture, as a minor form of violence expressing the authority of the spanker. Besides, we sexualize butts, and spanking is touching butts.

For kink purposes, there’s two kinds of spankings, a fun spanking that works with the “victim’s” natural tolerances and a mean spanking that seeks to exceed them (in a safe fashion of course!). In this case, don’t confuse tolerances for limits. Limits are how the bottom protects you from being arrested, while tolerance is how the spanking effects them in relation to how they experience pain. So how do you make sure everything’s hunky dory? Continue reading

A Sweet Moment of Calm

Dominance does not always have to be about sex… Nor is it always about super strong, paddle-wielding control. Sometime, you can have a calm, dominant presence in the quiet of night.

I just had the pleasure of having an extremely sweet moment with my husband. And it was still a Dominant moment, despite being all sleepy nothings.

As per usual, I was wide awake at 4 a.m. My husband turned over in bed. Whether because he woke from a dream, or because the night was absurdly warm, he was awake. Drowsy, sure, but no longer asleep.

He turned to me and, noticing that I was sitting at the edge of the bed, curled up right by my side, head by my lap, like a sleepy puppy. “Could you please give me some pets, Miss,” he said barely above a whisper.

How could I resist such a sweet request? Truth is, I couldn’t. He looked so handsome and peaceful in this state of semi-wakefulness…

So I started petting his hair. He has thick, silky curls that are longer at the top of his head and cropped quite short at the back and sides. I quite enjoyed tangling my fingers in the longer strands and scratching the shorter hairs the same way I pet my cats… He moaned softly, or was it a blissful sigh? Continue reading

Critical Collar Crisis and Colossally Conceited Cretins

Source: Photobucket user leocusp9
Source: Photobucket user leocusp9 …    This is a nice photo to make up for the not-so-nice content of the post.

A few days ago, I posted this on Fetlife in a group called “Dominant Women and subs/slaves who love them.”

The collar – ultimate sign of the submissive. From what I have understood of the BDSM community, giving a collar to your sub has a great deal of significance, and for some, the symbol of the collar is akin to the wedding band.

Which is why I am left in a bit of a crisis. I hope that better and more experienced Femdoms and Doms alike can potentially help me with this issue. You see, my House-hubsand has a collar – that he got from his ex-girlfriend.

Do not get me wrong: it is a gorgeous collar. I believe it is a Northbound Leather piece, sturdy  and with a gorgeous buckle. I have used it on him only last weekend so I could lead him around by the neck (which is more fun to do than I care to admit).

The problem here is that, when I tie the collar around his neck, I do not feel the empowerment that should normally come from such a gesture. I hesitate and I feel the oppressive presence of the evil manipulative ex in the room with us. I keep thinking that she bought it for him hoping to chain him to herself and not to me. But, at the moment, it is the only collar I have and, as I’ve said before, it is quite the beautiful collar.

Also, because I realize how this sounds so far, the collar was bought while my House-husband was still in a relationship with the Evil Bulldog. So it’s not like she gave him the collar after he was in a relationship with me. But that does not change the fact that I feel this collar overshadows my dominance in a way.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is there a way to make an old collar yours?

I got some varied opinions on the matter and a few genuinely helpful replies… Four replies in total to be exact.

The next thing I know, my post was deleted.

I was frankly surprised by this turn of events. Was the group not for Dominant Women and their questions/discussions? Had I done something wrong in posting this question that had been plaguing me for a while? Did the group moderators know Evil Bulldog and delete the post because they somehow felt I had slighted her?

No.

It turns out, the group moderators did much more than just delete my post. They flat out BANNED me from the Dominant Women group!!

Let that sink in for a minute.

Because, honestly, what the ever loving fuck?! I may be a newbie Dom (or, rather, reconnecting with my inner Dom) and be prone to mistakes, but that does not make me any less a Dom in a F/m relationship.

Still reeling from the shock, I contacted the moderators. Their reply angered me to no end. You see, apparently, because I enjoy switching things up sometimes (because I find some fun in being a sometimes submissive and because I feel I can gain insight into the submissive perspective by doing so), I am not allowed to be a part of the Dominant Women group. That’s right: Switches, sometimes or otherwise, are not allowed! This is not at all in the essence of the Kink community I have come to know and I am, frankly, quite offended. Do I no longer technically count as a Dominant Woman in my F/m relationships? When I choose to sub to someone, am I not a “sub/slave who love[s Dominant Women]?” As per their group title, I doubly qualify for fuck’s sake!

I am shocked that the mythical “The Old Guard” of purist, elitist Dommes seems to be a reality in a community that I have come to respect and adore for its openness and acceptance. The fact that I my reply to the moderators, mentioning that I related more to the Dom perspective and that I liked to sub only occasionally, in part to help gain insight into the submissive mind-frame, went unanswered.

Dominant Women that I respect quit the group in solidarity with Switches. Because, honestly; how can a group be so freaking conceited? Who are they to judge what we identify as? What is the harm in Switching as a Dom anyway??

I am simply disappointed that these cretins will know no consequences for their actions in a community that usually does a great job at policing itself and eliminating this sort of discrimination and judgement. I am also saddened to find out that this sort of behaviour is present in the Kink community. I am so over the every day discriminatory antics of the world and I had thought that I had found a place where they were as near as possible to non-existent.

I will not stop being a sometimes switch. It is my choice and my fun. Regardless, I still identify as a Dominant Woman. So fuck you, moderators! Fuck you.

When In Doubt, Improvise!

If my stage combat teacher knew I encourage improvisation, I think she would kill me. Her advice was always: in a situation where someone might get hurt, never, ever, improvise! There is just one problem: I do not own a flogger.

I need one in my arsenal. I WANT one in my arsenal. But I am far too broke to afford one any time soon. So, what’s a girl to do?

After a long and pleasant walk with Miss Pearl, my House-husband greeted me at the door, naked. He was clearly begging for a scene. Having neglected to cum the previous night, he was in for a beating. I thought that I wanted to use a different hitting implement than my usual ones. This thought stayed with me the entire time I was dishing out his warm up (bare hands, to the beat of the songs that are stuck in my head at the time… unluckily for him, it was ‘Zorba the Greek‘).

As I spanked his buttocks to a healthy pink glow, I thought more than anything about that flogger that I wanted. And then it hit me (pun intended): I had some random stuff in my craft room I could use instead!

Source: http://www.cb2.com/artificial-grass-bunch/s580671
Source: http://www.cb2.com/artificial-grass-bunch/s580671

Indeed, a few weeks prior, I had purchased a bunch of Dollar Store plants – you know, those artificial, clearly plastic abominations? – for an art project. They did not end up getting used in the end. Among them, there was a bushel of long grass, or reeds, or whatever they are meant to be. In other words, I had a lot of long plastic strands in a bunch (even with a handy handle) that could sting like the devil if used properly. Continue reading

Late Night Spontaneity…

I was bored tonight and, as is my nature, suffering of my usual insomnia. My recourse was to both entertain and educate myself by reading the blogs of other FemDoms and reading up on certain F/m sites. Lots of interesting material there, ladies. Once you know it’s out there, you will wonder why you did not explore those avenues sooner…

In any case, the whole kerfuffle of online posts, articles and messages made me incredibly horny and I was in no mood to masturbate. Beside me, my gentleman was happily sleeping the night away, as is his habit. I swear: you just put him in a position that’s remotely close to horizontal and he is out like a light! As a chronic insomniac, I envy that ability.

But that’s a tangent I needn’t elaborate on.

I decided that tonight, I would dominate him without the aid of any ties, cuffs, or whippy items. In fact, I wanted to make him mine through sheer force of will.

I woke him up gently. Rubbing his back and calling his name. No sooner was he awake that I grasped his hair in my and pulled his head back, exposing his neck for me to kiss, lick and bite at will. My hand in his hair made him gasp and pant in that way that is always a surefire way to turn me on.

I took his mouth with a deep kiss, and then another. I stripped him naked and ran my nails down his chest, leaving red trenches in his white, flawless skin. I rolled his left nipple between my index and thumb, and bit down – hard – on the other one. He moaned loudly. But it was nigh on 2 in the morning: I did not want him waking our poor elderly neighbours!

So I slid my underwear from my hips – a grey jersey boyshort; casual comfort – wiggling my buttocks as I exposed them to him. When it was off, I stuffed it in his mouth in lieu of a gag. His expression was delicious. Continue reading

Ruined Orgasms, First Experience

Source: http://dollcenina.tumblr.com/
Image source: http://dollcenina.tumblr.com/
(Originally posted on FetLife, April 19, 2016)

17 April 2016

Last night, the last customer of the evening pisses me off.

Actually, no. That is a gross understatement. He insulted me to the point that I bypassed the “offended” stage and went right into that desperate need of breaking something – potentially many things – to alleviate my anger.

I get in my car and screamed loudly. Traffic. Just great. More screaming, my blood past boiling point.

I get home in a huff. My beloved house husband meets me with his usual puppy-like enthusiasm, craving my attention, but I would have none of that. I do not want him getting injured because of my anger. I undress and parade my naked body before him as I look around for my gym clothes. I need to work out some frustration. Hubby pouts – he cannot join me at the gym. I tell him to clean himself up and be ready for when I get home.

I run off some steam and work up a good sweat for about an hour at the local gym. I do not check my texts or even bother giving my boy-toy news of when I am planning to return. I use the massage bed at the gym for a few minutes… I calm down just barely enough to ensure that there would be no real damage caused to my husband.

Post-workout, I call him up. “I’ll be home in fifteen minutes. Run me a hot bath and wait for me by the door. Greet me on your knees.” And I set off on my short drive home.

He knows it’s me as soon as I set foot into our building. According to my house-husband, I have a particular sound to my step that is unmistakeable. I take my time up to the second floor landing and up to my door. He opens it from inside, kneeling naked, all too willing and eager. Good.

I step into the apartment. “The bath is run, Miss,” he tells me. I extend my arms in response. “Undress me.”

He obeys my request clumsily, trying to take off my shirt first. I click my tongue impatiently. “Is that the first thing we take off when we come in?”

He looks flustered and blushes. It takes him a moment to realise I mean my shoes. He sheepishly unlaces my runners and pulls them off my feet, followed by my socks. Next, he returns to the shirt, knocking my glasses askew as he pulls it off. “Careful,” I warn him. This will be deserving of a thorough spanking later. He moves on to untie my yoga pants and pulls them off, finding himself faced with the darkish hairs of my sweaty cunt. I smile. He had not expected me to be going commando.

Once I am standing skyclad in my hallway, I regally hold out my hand and wait. Wordlessly and well trained, he gently takes that hand and escorts me to the tub. What follows for me is a delightful treat where he washes my hair, my back, my breasts as I command. I clean my nethers myself. Not yet.

He dries me off with a fresh fuzzy towel and I send him to lie on his back on the bed. Continue reading