ATTENTION NEW FEMDOMS: How To Give A Bare Handed Spanking

So, my good friend, Miss Pearl O’Leslie, just posted this brilliant article about spanking. As I was asked by some interested parties about barehanded spanking just the other day, I thought I might share it here for their benefit as well. Spanking can spice things up and make things wonderfully kinky without requiring all the expensive accessories and tools. It can make Femdom easy and fun! So what are you waiting for? Go do it!

(P.S. This is not for Femdoms only. Male Dominants can learn from this article too!)

One of the biggest barriers for new femdoms (and women who are giving this a try) is that the topping side of dominating people can seem hellaciously intimidating. What if you get it wrong, will the bottom be seriously hurt? Will he laugh at you and take away his submission? I blame existing dominants, who often base their authority on how well they hit and tie. In some cases, of course, kink skill takes time and practice. Bullwhips and needle play require more prep and know how, as well as specialized equipment. But spanking is something anyone can do and carry very little risk, particularly a bare handed spanking with an open palm.

Why spanking and how does it work?

A human butt is one of the more resilient, padded parts of the body. Cushioned and bouncy, it offers a wide surface area for striking while keeping all the important biological bits tucked deep out of the way. As well as a safe target, many people associate spanking with being in a demeaned, vulnerable of juvenile position. Although people in the 18 to 35 generation may never have personally experienced a beating in the hands of a parent, the idea of being bent over and smacked is deeply embedded in popular culture, as a minor form of violence expressing the authority of the spanker. Besides, we sexualize butts, and spanking is touching butts.

For kink purposes, there’s two kinds of spankings, a fun spanking that works with the “victim’s” natural tolerances and a mean spanking that seeks to exceed them (in a safe fashion of course!). In this case, don’t confuse tolerances for limits. Limits are how the bottom protects you from being arrested, while tolerance is how the spanking effects them in relation to how they experience pain. So how do you make sure everything’s hunky dory? Continue reading


A Sweet Moment of Calm

Dominance does not always have to be about sex… Nor is it always about super strong, paddle-wielding control. Sometime, you can have a calm, dominant presence in the quiet of night.

I just had the pleasure of having an extremely sweet moment with my husband. And it was still a Dominant moment, despite being all sleepy nothings.

As per usual, I was wide awake at 4 a.m. My husband turned over in bed. Whether because he woke from a dream, or because the night was absurdly warm, he was awake. Drowsy, sure, but no longer asleep.

He turned to me and, noticing that I was sitting at the edge of the bed, curled up right by my side, head by my lap, like a sleepy puppy. “Could you please give me some pets, Miss,” he said barely above a whisper.

How could I resist such a sweet request? Truth is, I couldn’t. He looked so handsome and peaceful in this state of semi-wakefulness…

So I started petting his hair. He has thick, silky curls that are longer at the top of his head and cropped quite short at the back and sides. I quite enjoyed tangling my fingers in the longer strands and scratching the shorter hairs the same way I pet my cats… He moaned softly, or was it a blissful sigh? Continue reading

Thirty Days Of Kink – Start –

So, I found this neat little questionnaire on another blog I follow: Anonymouskinky posted this Thirty Days Of Kink “meme” and I’ve decided it is a fun way to have a couple of blog posts that aren’t painfully afflicted with Real-Life-itis. Because, sadly, Real Life is currently taking its toll on me. This Dom is very, very tired. I am hoping to get my game back on by the end of the week, but this is some casual blogging fun in the meantime…

Thirty Days of Kink


Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I am a Dominant, sometimes Switch.

I enjoy the Switch part because, honestly, I am a sucker for the rush of endorphins and it allows me to release the inner Brat. The Brat is strong in me, but she does not get to come out much when I Dom. She comes out sometimes in my Dominant moments as this very playful, kind of mischievous creature, but she is difficult to control and that’s usually when I accidentally do something that is not all that enjoyable to my sub. So I prefer keeping her in check by keeping her to my submissive moments. She is really fun to release though! I would also be lying if I said I was not a total masochist – see endorphins above.

But why do I associate more to the Dominant side if I enjoy being submissive (and pain) so much? Because if there is one thing I like more than that, it is control. I am a control freak over every last aspect in my life – so much so that when things are out of my control, I fall into Anxiety and get panic attacks. It is a slippery road, to be honest.  Continue reading

Late Night Spontaneity…

I was bored tonight and, as is my nature, suffering of my usual insomnia. My recourse was to both entertain and educate myself by reading the blogs of other FemDoms and reading up on certain F/m sites. Lots of interesting material there, ladies. Once you know it’s out there, you will wonder why you did not explore those avenues sooner…

In any case, the whole kerfuffle of online posts, articles and messages made me incredibly horny and I was in no mood to masturbate. Beside me, my gentleman was happily sleeping the night away, as is his habit. I swear: you just put him in a position that’s remotely close to horizontal and he is out like a light! As a chronic insomniac, I envy that ability.

But that’s a tangent I needn’t elaborate on.

I decided that tonight, I would dominate him without the aid of any ties, cuffs, or whippy items. In fact, I wanted to make him mine through sheer force of will.

I woke him up gently. Rubbing his back and calling his name. No sooner was he awake that I grasped his hair in my and pulled his head back, exposing his neck for me to kiss, lick and bite at will. My hand in his hair made him gasp and pant in that way that is always a surefire way to turn me on.

I took his mouth with a deep kiss, and then another. I stripped him naked and ran my nails down his chest, leaving red trenches in his white, flawless skin. I rolled his left nipple between my index and thumb, and bit down – hard – on the other one. He moaned loudly. But it was nigh on 2 in the morning: I did not want him waking our poor elderly neighbours!

So I slid my underwear from my hips – a grey jersey boyshort; casual comfort – wiggling my buttocks as I exposed them to him. When it was off, I stuffed it in his mouth in lieu of a gag. His expression was delicious. Continue reading